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Stephanie had asked me to sell the car because in her opinion the car just wasn't practical for us. Even as small as our kids were the four of us couldn't go anywhere in the car because the kids car seats wouldn't fit into it. Plus the insurance rates were sky high, and with the weather in Michigan I was lucky to drive the car 6 months out of the year. Steph thought we needed a fucking minivan or an SUV.Fuck her I thought, my Stang would be with me longer than she would at this rate."I have to. Didn't thinkthat was weird at all, even when Lisa said I'd sleep in her bed (ButWendy was jealous and so we're going to be using sleeping bags in theden). I didn't say I'd stay all night but said I'd like to babysit (Isaid "come over" so I'm not pushing it in Lisa's face like.), but thatI'd have to talk to Dad about the over-night part. Dad said it was up tome though, but he'd say "no" if I ask him to, and I could say I want touse the guest room if I do do it too. I don't mind doing it, but you. I couldn’t easily work my own mind out, but I had to admit there was something inside me which responded to that sense of inferiority and insufficiency. I liked the way my desires pulled against each other, tearing me apart between my yearning for her, wanting to beg for her attention, and my need for dignity and respect. The tension left me so confused. The conflict inside me made choosing much harder, opening me up even further to her influence, and taking me into a more receptive,. What if it doesn't work? She'd tell my dad or the landlord and we'd probably get kicked out of the house. What to do..? I went back upstairs to our unit and I start thinking. I have to do something. She's practically naked. I saw everything. SHE knew I saw everything. I have to make a move but how? I jumped into the shower. I took the fastest shower anyone ever took. I barely dried off. I went back down to the basement to "check on the washer" (which was only running for about 10 minutes).
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