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Supper and shower time came and went without Tom being consciously aware of their passing. As he lay in his bunk, wide awake, waiting as the incredibly long minutes slowly went by; he fingered the blanket he was going to take with him. Finally, it was time. Crawling out of bed, he threw the blanket over his shoulders as if he was cold and going to the washroom. Once outside, he stayed in the shadows, walking past the cabins, skirting the sports field until he arrived at the shore of the lake. We slid as close as we could with our legs wrapped around each other. Our shafts were touching. We rubbed our lubed shafts together, what a feeling. He wrapped his hand around mine as we stroked. I gave a squirt of lube to help. He sat up and asked "Can I suck it". I could not speak all I did was shake my head yes. He grabbed my shirt and wiped me off and his hand and leaned over and without using a hand took me in his mouth. He mouth so warm and moist. His head bobbing up and down. . But - as much as I hate to admit it - it was the right decision at the time.Now, however, he knows that I really do want him to take the decision and that I will gladly live with the results. As long as it's his child, if he wants it for us, if he feels that we could be good parents, if he is willing to make the decision for me, that would be enough for me. I would accept his judgment - after the moment was over.But if it ever happens, in the moment I will be scared out of my mind. I will have. Always ready and happy for that overtime, working day and night, the first years crying, it coming without forewarning and with me not able to control it, yeah, I hated it.I don't remember me crying before that time, I always felt it was giving people more information than they needed, so I had early on taught myself not to give in to such. But the crying I did after the separation must have gone a far way filling up that hole. Yeah, that separation made me a real danger on the road, and as I.
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