My brain is here. The room is dark, and only red embers glow from the fire place. The wood is damp and the room smoky, it reminds me of the wet Appalachian apple orchards of the harvest times of my youth. Naked I throw some more logs on the coals and stoke the fire. The little light from the fireplace emits a gauzy reflection off the window panes, but I see a slender figure beyond them on the screen porch. The flames behind me warm my back and backside, but my chest feels cold. I can almost. ’ Now I know he must be talking nonsense, no-one has ever called me that often. ‘Can’t have been anyone important,’ I say. ‘I sent my new number to everyone when they gave me a work phone.’ ‘Unless of course they never got your message.’ It takes several seconds for the implications of Pie’s words to sink in. And then a small seed of doubt begins to take root in my mind. It grows into a sense of dread which threatens to overwhelm me. ‘Can I — take a look?’ My hand is trembling as I reach out. She would show me how to do flower arranging using the flowers and ferns, she was always very nice and pleasant with me because they had no c***dren of their own, and would at times she would ask me to tea after school. I always agreed because my parents were always arguing, and it used to make me feel unhappy, I think my mother didn’t mind me going because she was a nurse and would work odd hours, and my father had other gardens to look after. So, I used to go there and have some flower. I followed her lead and kissed her but my kiss could never equal the passion which she exuded at that moment. The passion, the fire, her entire essence was in that one kiss. I thought to myself how could I ever reciprocate on that level. Then I realized that she wanted me to feel her desire, to acknowledge it and that nothing more was expected. I have known her forever but I am still amazed by her raw sexuality. She stopped kissing me and she looked into my eyes and stared. Her hand was still.
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