I always fanaticized about older women. I really knew that wasn’t going to happen. I had noticed that girls were interested in guys with nice cars. These guys were older and I didn’t even have a drivers license. I thought I would have to find a GF that was younger. My best friend had an older sister who had her own car, her own friends and acted like we didn’t exist. She had dated quite a few guys most of whom were older than me. We got along ok and I fantasized about her but that was as far as. They plopped down on a soft leather couch and Tory looked around with amazement. The sitting room had artwork and sculptures from all around the world. Tony the owner had hosted guests from all around the world and some had returned bearing gifts. There was an Ethiopian fertility doll from the 1st century, a Van Gogh from someone’s private collection and a Japanese Geisha Doll among other things. Even if only one room was rented, Tony would hand prepare a fruit, cheese and cracker board and. My wife will be with me, and she’s a big fan of yours, just as all of us here at the television studio.”Sherry turned to me, “Jerry, we need to put together a playlist of songs for the show in New York. Mr. Aycock told us they have a list of songs they want you to sing at the Opry.”“Have you seen his list?”“Not the entire list, but I did see the first song on the list is ‘Wanting You’. Mom was looking it over when I came back here to see you. She held it up in front of Frank and he gave her an. I can't really articulate how I feel about this but every bit of it reinforces this.. self-awareness I'm experiencing. Like, I am an entity, a whole, stand-alone person. I used to think of Ethan as a piece of me. An extension of self that I needed; but now I think I felt that way because it wasn't Ok for me to want things. Like, I only ever deserved what I needed. Not anymore. Almost overnight I feel -- quite comfortably -- that it's totally fine for me to want things. And absolutly to be.
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